I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
