I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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