whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
