My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize