i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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