Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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