I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful