Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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