It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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