she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
