he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
