this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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