Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize