Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
