it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
