do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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