Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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