If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
vagina is talking i cant
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
