Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
