My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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