Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
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is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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