FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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