Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
