Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
