A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize