STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize