i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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