Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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