I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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