is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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