That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
