Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
