so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
