just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
