You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dignity is for republicans.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
