I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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