just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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