i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
