i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
