I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We talked him into tasing himself.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
