I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
YAS. BRING CRAB.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
