HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
