Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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