somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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