I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
