By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
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I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
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He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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