I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
