I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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