I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
