You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize