i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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