how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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