No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
