jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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