And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
