ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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