dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize