Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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