You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
