One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
